Linda Lopeke
Linda is a distinguished entrepreneur, author, and recognized leading expert in business development, strategic marketing, and operational management. She is the founder of SMARTSTART and she helps business owners and experts achieve independence through entrepreneurship by guiding them and creating media-worthy success stories from their business ideas.
Transcript
Maureen Farmer
Welcome to the Get Hired up podcast! It's my pleasure today to welcome Linda M. Lopeke, business advisor and founder of SMARTSTART. Linda is a distinguished business leader, author, and recognized leading expert in business development, strategic marketing, and operational management. July 5th 2021 marks the 50th anniversary of her professional career serving clients around the world. In 2002, she founded SMARTSTART—the business success accelerator through which she helps business owners and experts achieve independence through entrepreneurship by guiding them and creating media worthy success stories from their business ideas. So welcome, Linda, to the show.
Linda Lopeke
Well, thank you, Maureen, thank you for having me. such a joy to talk to you.
Maureen Farmer
And congratulations on your anniversary!
Linda Lopeke
Oh, thank you. Yes, it is hard to believe, it doesn't feel like 50 years at all. It's been quite a ride.
Maureen Farmer
Yes. Wonderful. And would you say that you've worked with people in specific industries? Or have you worked in many industries.
Linda Lopeke
My clients cover many industries and primarily my experience is in finance and banking, insurance, brokerage, product development, big pharma—entrepreneurs, of course, are now the bulk of our focus. And I've been very, very fortunate to work with many, many exciting companies over the years.
Maureen Farmer
And just for the benefit of the listener here today, can you tell us a little bit about how SMARTSTART works?
Linda Lopeke
SMARTSTART is dedicated to improving business literacy. Many entrepreneurs have fabulous business ideas, but they don't know how to develop them and bring them to market. So we wanted to make sure that they had the opportunity to work with people who have the expertise needed to guide them in product and program and service development, as well as teaching them how to market themselves effectively, how to build their credibility and authority over time, and how to work with the clients that they attract in a way that's deeply meaningful to them and of benefit to all parties involved.
Maureen Farmer
And I'm just curious about whether you have, say, for example, retired CEOs come to SMARTSTART to start a business or do you work with primarily early career professionals who want to start a business or is it a mixture?
Linda Lopeke
We have all different kinds of people in the program, our youngest person to enter SMARTSTART had just turned 13. And our oldest person to enter the program was in their mid 80s. It is common for people who have had excellent successful professional careers in traditional employment, to at some point decide they want to go out on their own, do something as an independent entrepreneur. Sometimes it's a natural transition. Sometimes it's because something happened to end their career, perhaps even before they were ready, and they still have things that they want to do and contribute to the world. The world of entrepreneurship, though, is quite a bit different from the corporate world. So, in SMARTSTART I have corporate clients and I have entrepreneurs as well. And every single successful business is built on the same 12 foundational blocks. So you have to have certain skill sets and understanding of each of those 12 blocks but how you apply them In a corporate career versus an entrepreneurial career would be slightly different. And so understanding these differences and how to work effectively with the skills and talents and experience that you bring to the table is what makes SMARTSTART a bespoke growth journey for you, whatever your path.
Maureen Farmer
And I can imagine that starting a business, no matter whether you're 13 or in your mid 80s, there are likely some barriers or perceived barriers to success. And that's what I would love to talk about today. And this is our topic for today—is imposter syndrome. You know, I believe that imposter syndrome is pretty common. But before we get into the conversation, and I'm really, really curious to learn your perspective and your point of view on this topic, I'm going to read a definition of imposter syndrome just for the benefit of the listener here today. And so imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud—I think we can all identify with that from time to time. It disproportionately affects high achieving people who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments, many question whether they're deserving of accolades they received from others. And I myself work with many, many individuals who often complain and confess that they suffer from imposter syndrome. And I find that women call it imposter syndrome. And men tend to speak about an uneasiness and doubt their abilities, especially when they are about to take on a new role, or are being considered for a new role or are, you know, planning a consulting business of their own. So, I'd love to hear your perspective on that.
Linda Lopeke
It's true that imposter syndrome, which originally was called the imposter phenomenon, and some people today call it imposter complex. It's all about the same things that you were just talking about. It's really a fascinating experience that's directly related to simply being human. And we're conditioned from an early age, in ways that set us up to experience this. Unfortunately, when we are older, and we're established in our careers, or we're doing whatever it is, we feel called to do, we are then subject to this interpretation of imposter syndrome being a bad thing, when in fact, I don't think that it is at all, I think it's just an affirmation of being human, and of caring about the quality of work, service or contribution that you're making to the world. If we think back to when we were children, we are born with the four human drivers already in place. And those drivers are acceptance, belonging, validation, and love. When we're young children, before we enter the school system, we have a sense of those things unconditionally and not tied to any specific thing that we do, or are, then we enter the school system. And we are conditioned to measure ourselves against others. So it becomes a battle for acceptance by our parents, if we are not, say performing at the same academic level, as our siblings, or their friends, children, or others, because if we are not performing well, then our parents tend to see that as a reflection on them as lacking in some way.
So, we're under tremendous pressure to be better, to do more to excel. And this is the first point in our life when we start to tie that to being worthy of our parents acceptance and love and care. And that puts a stake in the ground that we didn't have to deal with before we entered the system. We leave the educational system and enter the world of employment or entrepreneurship depending on which path we choose. And now our very livelihoods depend on being part of something so that addresses the belonging aspect—being accepted for who we are and what we can contribute, being validated in terms of having earned our status or being worthy of the accomplishments and the acclamation and validation that we acquire along the way in terms of professional recognition. And we're always in a bit of a state of fear over the loss of those things and interestingly, as part of the human condition, this need to be accepted and, and belong goes way, way back to the very origin of the species. And that...if you stood out, and were not part of a large group, you would be very unprotected out in the wild. And safety is one of our number one biological responses that we want to protect at all costs. We don't worry about safety issues as babies and toddlers and whatnot, because our parents are responsible for that. Once we go into the school system, though, and we start to pick up all of this other conditioning, then we start to feel unsafe, or we feel an extra need to protect that safety. We don't want to be exposed to others as being less than—we worry about being less than probably more than anything else. This whole idea of compara-noia is paralyzing for all concerned. But the irony of imposter syndrome is, it's only felt and experienced by those who are not imposters. Real imposters never suffer any of this. It just never hits their consciousness. And that is one of the really fascinating aspects of it I think.
Maureen Farmer
So are you saying that someone who suffers from sociopathology or sociopath or psychopathy don't experience this?
Linda Lopeke
Well, they don't experience a lot of things that would be on the human conditioning spectrum. They don't have empathy. They don't have compassion. They don't have many of the things that we expect from those who are members of society. But I think that people in business who actually are imposters but don't experience imposter syndrome do so because they've been conditioned differently. And they have less concern about what others think about them. And they're very invested in their own perceptions of their abilities. Many of them perhaps even fall into narcissistic personality disorders. And they think of themselves very differently than those who suffer imposter syndrome do. But I, I think that at the end of the day, the most important thing we need to understand is that the feelings of self doubt, for example, that accompany imposter syndrome is not proof of your inadequacy. It's really just prove that you are human, and you're not just human, it's proof that you are conscientious. You're high functioning, you have strong values around integrity and intelligence. So what's happening is that doubt is helping you keep your edge, that's what's motivating you to strive for mastery. Those are the types of things that make you a good leader. And you know, the truth about your abilities is already being written, you may reject them, because out of fear or safety concerns that don't have any basis really. But if you did not want to be good at what you do, or did not aspire to be a great leader, you wouldn't have these concerns. You know what I'm saying?
Maureen Farmer
I do 100% because I've suffered from these feelings, you know, time and again, and I think that the individuals that I speak with do as well, but I think they think they believe that they're the only person or people who suffer from imposter syndrome. And I think having been a coach for the past 10 years, and maybe you can speak to this as well has given me an appreciation for the number of people who suffer from it. And there's almost a sense of comfort that I feel knowing that others have these feelings. And it's also a sense of comfort for the clients that I'm working with, or that they now know that it is a common phenomenon because many of the individuals that we work with—both you and I—are high performing people. And I think that although they suffer from the feelings of imposter syndrome, they're not apt to sharing that information with their teams or their board or employees, because they want to be perceived as being competent. So I do have a question for you, though, because this came up last week, I was speaking to an individual who had been a high performing individual, she is a world renowned speaker, and also an academic person. And she now has her own consulting business. But she turned down a major offer and was actually in Toronto, she took offers going on at the same time, and she chose the lesser of the two offers because she felt so much like an imposter. So when does imposter syndrome impede your performance? And when is it adaptive? I guess that would be kind of the the two kind of sides to that question.
Linda Lopeke
Well, there's a lot of dimensions to unpack in this scenario. But the first thing that came to my mind when you were relating this story, is this a person who is trying to protect herself by making this decision to take the lesser challenging rule? Now, one of the lies about imposter syndrome is this notion that successful people don't experience it. And that is a lie that's just trying to keep you locked into a belief about your inadequacy, for the role that you've taken on, or your contribution to the organization or whatever it might be. Now, the thing is, the higher you climb, in an organization, the farther you have to fall, and being human, everyone's afraid of falling, it comes back to the safety issue. And that's the reason this fear of falling is why many people don't aspire to climbing too high in the first place. Because when you stay close to the ground, it's insurance against getting hurt. And when we find out though, that people who are on top of your game and are very successful in the public eye, also know the sting of imposter syndrome, it does help us feel better about being in exquisite company. So it's a bit of a traveling companion, you have to accept that the more places you succeed, and the more challenges you take on, the more opportunities imposter syndrome will find to point out all you still don't know. And but that's absolutely okay. Because nobody knows everything about everything. We all start from zero and we acquire skills along the way. And we get better and better as we practice those skills in the course of our careers. Because everyone begins at a level of conscious incompetence.
And the trick to mastering imposter syndrome is not to let conscious and competence shut you down. But instead to motivate you to just keep moving through the different levels. And the next thing that happens to us as we're progressing through our careers is we fall into this trap of all or nothing generalization. So, imposter syndrome loves those worst-case scenarios and likes to speak in complete extremes. So, it would say like if you don't know everything about subject x, then you know nothing. And if you're not a complete success, whatever complete is being defined as then you are a complete and utter failure, which is complete nonsense, of course, but that is just the process of thinking that we go through and that leads us into thinking, well, if we know nothing, then we have nothing useful to say. So why would anyone listen to us.
And of course, whenever you are speaking, or are taking on a challenge, or are leading a team or whatnot, you always have the potential for failure. Not everyone is strong enough to endure failure and come back from it. Some people, when confronted with failure, completely collapse into it. Other people rise from it and become stronger and get back into the fray. They analyze, you know where their weaknesses were, and they correct those things. And that's what allows them to move forward and up through the organization. If we don't give ourselves opportunities, to test our limits, and go beyond our boundaries, and expand our horizons, we'll never know what we're capable of. And that's what our number one responsibility is, as humans, which is to develop to the fullest self that we can make the maximum use of our gifts and talents and strengths. And to enjoy the process of becoming. The interesting thing that I think imposter syndrome shows us is that we're always evolving, there's no end point to growth, there's no end point to success.
Maureen Farmer
I'm thinking of a common scenario that I deal with quite often. And it's that what you call the all or nothing thinking or I forget how you worded it, but essentially, I work with a lot of aspiring executives. And there's a perception that if they don't know, to your point, absolutely everything, from a technical point of view that they can't progress up into the C-level. The way and some of the ways that comes out in these conversations are things like, 'oh, I've never managed a profit center.' The profit centers are a really big one...'I've only ever managed a cost center.' And therefore, you know, I won't be considered at the C-level, and they're completely missing the point here. And the point is not about managing a particular profit center, or a call center, it's about helping the organization make money, save money, or solve a problem, and how you fit in to that business ecosystem. And technical competence is assumed. I mean, if you've gotten to a senior level in an organization, the technical capabilities are assumed—they're there. Where really I see a lot of people are fall short is not even in leadership skills. It's around taking risks, calculated risks, but also raising their own visibility inside the organization with signature stories and using soft skills like, you know, earning the trust of the board or earning the trust of the team, or the trust of the employees. I see that more executives are focused, seem to be so myopic, and focused on the technical competence and not around those other things. And I wonder, and I'm sure that much of it has to do with the imposter syndrome, because I find that a lot of times somebody who is super smart, if they feel or perceive that they're lacking, they go and take another course, rather than develop the relationships inside the organization that are really necessary to help them up level inside the organization. And so I guess my question is around that. When do you see it most often occur? We all experience it when we are maybe challenged, when we've achieved something that we feel we maybe didn't deserve, but when else do you see it pop up?
Linda Lopeke
It pops up in response to comments that a friend or relative might say, in a social situation. Again, goes back to our need for acceptance and belonging and the preservation of our safety in our social circles, so you might be really enjoying your career and working on whatever it is you're working on. You may be completely technically competent. And you might also have many transferable skills, including soft skills. And in fact, it's those skills that are most needed at the highest level—more so than technical competencies.
Maureen Farmer
But that's not the perception though, Linda, that is the number one perceived barrier that is holding high potential leaders back. I can guarantee you that. If they figure 'Oh, you know, I need to get the MBA,' (I get that all the time). 'Oh, I don't have an MBA'. I'm like, well, you're 45 years old, and you've managed a huge global business. Why would you need an MBA? How is that going to further you, but it's that imposter syndrome I think.
Linda Lopeke
It's because we have a reliance, conditioned into us that these little letters behind our name, are proof that we are competent. They're not really—I've met a lot of people with MBAs who couldn't think their way out of a paper bag. So at the end of the day, many of those things are meaningless. But in social situations, they've acquired a significance, we assign value to them. And then we assign automatically that same value to a person who has those letters behind their name, whether or not they even deserve it. So a person who's feeling a sense of inadequacy or a feeling that others, you know, maybe are assessing them as not being worthy of whatever they've attained or achieved in their careers might then think that, in comparison to some other individual, they won't stack up. And so going after additional credentials, and certifications, and other symbols of credibility and authority, become like insulating blankets, protecting us from the slings and arrows of others. But at the end of the day, what matters more than any of those surface elements, or status acquisitions, is your performance. And your performance, in terms of leading others, always begins with leading yourself successfully first. So accepting your own strengths and knowing what they are, and then working to apply them consistently and to develop them as far as possible...and to use them for the better good of the organization is actually more important. That does not mean of course, that sometimes people experience in their career that maybe they have done all these wonderful things for the organization, but the promotion was given to somebody else who is not as talented, not as effective, but has the MBA after their name...that's when a lot of people actually end up moving from the corporate world into the entrepreneurial world. Because the difference between the two is in the entrepreneurial world, nobody cares about your initials after your name, they care about your performance, and specifically the contributions and performance capabilities that you can bring out in your clients. In the entrepreneurial world, you live and die on the basis of your ability to deliver...you take on all of the risks. In a corporate environment, the risk is shared. It's shared across departments. It's shared across all of the people in the organization, but in the entrepreneurial world, it's just you, you're carrying the entire load. If you succeed, all the rewards are yours. And if you fail, all of the risks come tumbling down on your head. So you have to be a very mentally strong person to survive the entrepreneurial journey because it's going to test your limits in ways that you would never be tested in any other situation.
Maureen Farmer
There's no question. I'm looking for this quote and I can't put my fingers on it right at the moment, but I'll just paraphrase it here. I was working with a gentleman a couple of years ago in the United States. And he was the CEO of a very, very big company. And he had become the first CFO in the history of the organization who didn't have a CPA. And so, so I asked him, How did you land the CFO position of a multibillion dollar publicly traded company? (And then he went on to become the CEO of the company, as well). And I said, How did you become the CFO without a CPA? And he said, because people trusted me. And I was able to deliver results. And so the board trusted him. He garnered a sense of trust. I guess that goes back to those four principles you talked about earlier on in the call. Belonging and acceptance, validation and love. And he went on to become the CEO of the company. And he, he was very successful, there was no question, he had done a lot of really great things, he had created an IPO. And he really credited much of his success to his ability to communicate with people. And what he communicated upward and downward very consistently. And every week, I think it started with a Monday morning, he would have an E-letter or an E-note that went out to everybody in the company. And he was very transparent about what his activities were for the week and what he had been doing and what his week was going to be like ahead. He tried to disclose as much as he could without breaking confidentiality, but he was very transparent with people, people trusted him. And the organization enjoyed a really good degree of employee engagement, because they measured that in that organization.
And so I think of him a lot, and I think, wow, you know, he didn't have an MBA after his name, I think he was an engineer, originally, classically trained engineer, but then wanted to become the CFO of the company, and then eventually the CEO, and I won't say only because education is very important to me, but he didn't have a graduate degree. He had an undergraduate degree in engineering. And I know so many other people as well, who followed that path. I mean, I think of people like Sonny Bono, for example, some people who I don't think had a grade 12 education, I think he only had like a, it was a very, you know, grade eight, or grade nine education. And he went on to become an entertainer and a politician. And I remember one of his quotes, he said, 'qualified, me? I've never been qualified to do anything in my entire life. And look what he did. He went on to become quite famous in many ways.
So, it's interesting to study these various people and see, you know, what are the common denominators? Or what are the common predictors of success. And so maybe they overcame something very, not traumatic, but maybe something very challenging. Or maybe they had a family that was very accepting of them when they were children. I mean, who knows?
Linda Lopeke
I think one of the big predictors of success is just deciding to do something, then committing to do whatever it takes to become really good at whatever the something is, and giving yourself permission to succeed at it.
Maureen Farmer
Right, right.
I had this conversation with someone in my family from time to time. And, of course, we're always, you know, coaching and helping one another. But, you know, she's afraid of failure. But she's also very much afraid of success as well. Right? So I guess it's that kind of...afraid of a change in the status quo, which I guess goes back to the the saboteur argument where it's there to keep us safe.
Right?
Linda Lopeke
Right. And our need for safety often means that we will choose the familiar, even when it's not good for us.
Maureen Farmer
So have you had the experience where people from the corporate world have said, you know, and I'm sure you have, because you've worked with 1000s of people around the world, but, you know, do you hear that often, you know, 'I couldn't achieve what I wanted to in the corporate world so I started this thing on my own.'
Linda Lopeke
Yes, that's a common reason for people leaving corporate to pursue entrepreneurship. It happens a lot with women too, because even though we've evolved a great deal over the last 50 years, there's still in the corporate world, this idea that you have to have inhabited a role for X number of years before you could possibly be considered for promotion, or you have to have this, that, o the other thing, or you couldn't possibly succeed leading a particular group or department...that's not necessarily true. A person can have the gifts and talents and skills needed to do that, without putting in that time, that arbitrary scale of time. And for high performance people, people who are truly hardwired to be high achievers, they get very frustrated with those kinds of arbitrary limitations and constraints that don't need to be there. And they need to break free out of those restrictive situations. And that's why they tend to do very well as entrepreneurs, because there's, they are alone and in charge of what they will do, how they will do it, who they will work with, and how they will go about it. And there are no artificial constraints on what can be done, there are only practical things in practical situations that can always be overcome.
Maureen Farmer
Do you find that imposter syndrome seems to affect women more than men? In your experience?
Linda Lopeke
It's actually a fairly equal split. But women are less ashamed to talk about it. It's almost like a badge of honor. If you're a good woman, then you will feel this way. And you will be constantly apologizing for yourself and you will be always concerned about how other people feel about what you're doing and whatnot. Men tend to keep it very close to the chest, like where women might feel they have to admit to being imposters to everyone, men tend to feel they should tell no one. So they carry that burden alone. But, you know, in both cases, it's all coming back to this idea that imposter syndrome is a bad thing. Right? When in fact, it isn't a bad thing at all. It's a marker of humanity, it's proof of your commitment to excellence and achievement. And so, if we only practice more reframing of what imposter syndrome means, it would be holding people back a lot less. So for example, people who are deeply ingrained in imposter syndrome feel a need to constantly diminish themselves, or diminish the magnitude of their achievements sort of thing. But self diminishment is counterproductive, because the facts are if you have accomplished X, Y and Z, that is a fact. And admitting to that is not bragging. It's just telling the truth. Now, there's a difference between being arrogant about your achievements and throwing them in other people's faces as a tool to make other people feel less than. So you can feel more than...that is not appropriate. But keeping accomplishments to yourself could be simply proof that you hold a strong value of humility. And constant comparison to others in the extreme end, results in compara-noia which can be paralyzing. But in a well managed respect only means that you have a strong value of connection to other people. On the negative extreme end, imposter syndrome results in chasing perfectionism, which can never be achieved. So it's a pointless exercise. But when it's well managed, it's simply proof that you hold a strong value of excellence. So that's why I'm always advising my clients if they have to chase something. Don't chase perfection, chase excellence.
Maureen Farmer
Right. And I've heard you speak about compara-noia before and I love the word by the way. You mentioned before that comparison, you mentioned...how did it go? You said that rather than comparing ourselves to others, that it's more helpful to compare ourselves with ourselves.
Linda Lopeke
Yes. We have a responsibility to maximize our growth as humans, as professionals. And the only comparison that is worthwhile, in my opinion, is looking at, where are you today, compared to where were you five years ago, or 10 years ago...we all have ideas of the trajectory we want our lives to follow. So if we are constantly moving towards that trajectory, it means we have to be comfortable with letting go and leaving behind who we were 5 or 10 years ago, if you look at yourself today, if you look at the your body of work, and you look at the work you're producing today, and it's exactly the same standard and level that it was 10 years ago, then you have not grown, that's not necessarily a real good thing. You should actually be wincing at the quality of your work from 10 years ago, you know, because you want to get better and better at whatever it is you do.
Compara-noia is somewhat debilitating for a lot of people.
Maureen Farmer
Oh it is...it's heartbreaking, and it is unnecessary. So, I'm working with someone now...an incredibly bright, brainiac person. But he's in a very, very new niched industry. And so he's comparing himself with principals of these big consulting firms and with CEOs and CFOs of these publicly traded companies, but he's in a complete league all of his own, there's really no one to compare himself with, because he's working in product development...using his such unique, unique magi-corn (that's magic meets unicorns) skills. He has a self perception that 'oh, well, you know, I've not managed a P&L, and I'm not...' And I'm like, 'Whoa, let's look at the value proposition and what you've been able to deliver to your organization'. And even though it's not measured in the traditional sense, he has moved mountains for this organization, but still feels that sense of imposter syndrome. We're working on that now. So I would love to know, Linda, as we close out the call here today, what one or two things could you or would you recommend for people who feel that it is holding them back?
Linda Lopeke
Oh, the first thing I want to mention is that compara-noia is a paralyzing situation. I wish I could claim credit for coming up with that word, because it's such a perfect word to describe the situation. But compara-noia was first coined by someone in our community. His name is Davide Di Giorgio. And his platform was all about being unapologetic for who you are. So your client who suffers from this idea that he's somehow less than because he doesn't have P&L experience is not considering the fact that he has other equally valuable experience that the people he's comparing himself against do not have, without a doubt. If he could acquire these skills and achieve these results, then It's perfectly reasonable to assume that he can equally learn how to run P&L. He probably has an entire career history of things that he has mastered, which he would have started out at knowing nothing about. And now he is highly skilled in that area. So when you're having conversations with clients like that, what I would do is I would ask them to make a list of the the traits, the character traits and accomplishments, they think that these people they're comparing themselves against, have. And then confront them with the idea that do they believe that this person was born having that skill? Or talent? Or did they have to work to acquire it? And then ask them, can you think of anything in your own life, that you didn't know, 10 years ago, or that you are very good at now that you weren't good at 10 years ago, and I'm sure they will have all kinds of examples. Another exercise that you can do with them is creating a life matrix. So a life matrix has 10 rows and 10 columns. So there would be 100 boxes in the matrix, and it would represent a lifespan of 100 years. And then you have the client fill in, what skills they learned or what interests they developed at different stages of their life. So obviously, in their first year or two of life, they would have learned how to walk. Now, they weren't born knowing how to walk, they were born with the incentive to walk. But they had to master the physical skill. While they were mastering that skill, they would have fallen on their butts many, many times. And their parents would be excited over every attempt, regardless of whether it resulted in a step or a fall. Because it's an indicator of progress towards a reasonable goal, which is to walk independently. And most people are able to learn how to do that. And the parents have total faith that their baby will learn how to walk. And this human drive to take on new things, and master new skills is with us our entire life. So when a person fills out the matrix, and they start to see this hard evidence of all the things they've learned over the course of their life, it should show them definitively that they have the capacity to take on anything that they want to become capable at. It's simply a matter of making a decision, committing to this decision, doing the work required, and accepting that you're not going to get it right the first time out.
Maureen Farmer
I love the life matrix, that's great. I guess from my perspective, I am learning that myself included, as well as the people who I'm working with, we're all on this journey. And some of these discoveries, like for example, the imposter syndrome, the saboteur—So, for a moment I’ll talk a little bit about my own experience as an entrepreneur because I was in corporate for 25 years. And I have to tell you that the most powerful tool that I was introduced to in my professional career as an entrepreneur is coaching. And because I learned that the saboteur and imposter syndrome was a normal phenomenon, I didn't know that before, I thought it was exclusive to me. And that's a little bit of maybe oversharing today, but that is a phenomenon that I'm very, very familiar with. So, when I engaged in a coaching processes, it was a marketing coach that I worked with very early on in my business, and I learned from the benefit of her other clients that hey, you know, I'm not the only person who has these doubts. Coming from…my father was very high performing. And so compar-anoia for me was measuring up to my father's standards. And it became a normalized way of kind of existing and you know, we can all be very, very hard on ourselves, but the coaching process itself has helped me immeasurably to understand that, you know, this is all normal stuff. It's just how do you manage it so that it's not destructive? And that it's not managing you?
Linda Lopeke
So, coaching is a very, very valuable investment, I think. And as you were just talking about...one of the greatest gifts you get from coaching, is that a coach will help you uncover the stories you're telling yourself about something. For example, we opened up this conversation with the fact that most people tell themselves a story that imposter syndrome is a bad thing. They have to get rid of it. No, it's going to hold them back. It does have the potential to hold them back, but it equally has the potential to move them forward leaps and bounds. It all depends on the story you tell yourself about it.
Now our responses to imposter syndrome are varied. One of the common ones is procrastination. And procrastination is something every single person on the planet has to deal with. You will never overcome procrastination until you understand what is the payoff you're getting from procrastinating. So procrastination on the negative side of things could be a direct result of your fear of something, your fear of loss, your fear of exposure, your fear of no longer being safe. But procrastination can also equally be proof that you're practicing discernment. And discernment is a positive trait. We also know that many people who suffer from imposter syndrome have difficulty in maintaining boundaries with others, or they suffer from what they call 'the disease to please'. And that is true, certainly that could happen to you. But if you understand that that's what's happening to you, you can reframe it in terms of making it something about your generosity towards others. Because when you value generosity, and connection to other humans, there may be a good reason to extend a boundary. It's only when it becomes an impairment to yourself, and starts to have a negative impact on your own health, that it's out of control. And the story you're telling yourself about it has to be challenged, and reframed.
Maureen Farmer
And I did that with this person last week, who told me she turned down the better of the two offers. When we went through a process of you know, what was the worst thing that could have happened? What would be the most likely thing that would have happened? And even if it did happen, how would she respond? We went through some questions like that...that was very, very helpful. So what I hear you say is that imposter syndrome is an indicator, it's an indicator of humanity, it's an indicator of our commitment to excellence, and then it can be used as a tool.
Linda Lopeke
It's the validation all on its own, that you are on a good path for yourself, you are on a growth journey. And it only becomes an impediment, if you allow it to keep you stagnant. Stagnation is not good. Stagnation is the antithesis to growth. And conformity is the opposite of success. So if you want to be successful in either the corporate life or entrepreneurial life, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and you have to get comfortable with standing out. And you stand out by accepting all of your humanity and not requiring yourself necessarily to be anything other than who you are right now. Because who you are right now is how you got to where you are, right? So if you capitalize on all you know about who you are, and make the best investments you can to grow that authenticity that you have earned throughout your life up to this point, then that's what will carry you forward in your career on your success journey.
Maureen Farmer
This is wonderful. I'm so excited that you came on to the call today. So thank you so much, Linda. Before we sign off on the call, I do have a question for you, which I would love, love, love to ask you. And that is, in your career so far, in the 50 years in your career, what has surprised you most?
Linda Lopeke
What surprises me the most is how easy it is for people to overcome their self limitations that they impose on themselves, when they adopt feelings of reverence for themselves. Reverence is so much more than self esteem and self support, self care, self love, it's about honoring every aspect of who you are. Now, depending on your life history, as a child, and as you progressed into where you are now, in the stage of your life, currently, we carry those experiences with us. And we've become attached to them, because we identify with the stories of our past. But when we're working with a coach, we can often unpack those stories and see all of the hidden gifts that were there all along that we cut ourselves off from that now we can unpack and apply moving forward. And then once a person is able to reframe some of these things that they've carried with them for so long...stories they've told themselves that weren't necessarily true, or that had other interpretations that they had never considered before. That's how you then go on, to come up with ideas that you never would have had come to on your own, or to create things that are deeply significant and magnificent to put out into the world. And then when you see what you are fully capable of, it's very magical.
Maureen Farmer
That multiple points of view and various points of view are, by far so opening and freeing. And what I have experienced too, and I know that time is marching on here, but the idea of like a personal or professional advisory board where you get these multiple perspectives can be so powerful. And having your own personal board of advisors or group of people that can help you with these multiple perspectives can really be transformational for you for sure.
Before we round up the call, could you tell the listener here how they could get in touch with you and how they could learn more about SMARTSTART?
Linda Lopeke
SMARTSTART programming is available on Smart Start coach dot com. And each week, of course, I have the Business Genius Podcast, which provides you just a few quick minutes of tips that can be instantly applied to your thinking, or your business to help you keep moving it forward. And I'm on LinkedIn. So everyone is welcome to connect with me on LinkedIn.
Maureen
And I'm a huge fan of the Business Genius podcast—I listen to it all the time. I'm an avid podcast listener, and I absolutely love the podcast. So Linda, thank you so much for your time today. I really appreciate your time and insight. And thank you so much for joining us here at the Get Hired Up podcast.
Linda Lopeke
Well thank you for having me, Maureen. It was delightful talking to you.
Maureen
Thank you.