Well, I believe in work life harmony, and not a work life balance, because I don't think you can separate the two.

Beth Benatti Kennedy 

Yeah, I agree. And the first time I remember you saying that expression, I was like, 'Oh, I love that'. So, I really liked that work balance harmony.

Maureen Farmer

So, I have a stat here from Deloitte. And it was from an article written on March 30 2022. We want to keep this evergreen, but I think it's important to note that this is not that long ago. And it's a study that says "burnout is a current problem requiring long term solutions."

And this is what Beth does in her work. "Burnout is among the most dangerous and widely ignored occupational hazards." And I had not heard it called that before—"slowing productivity and lowering job satisfaction, a Deloitte Survey of 1000 full time workers across different sectors in the United States revealed that more than 77% had experienced burnout in their current job, with more than half having experienced it more than once. And response to this growing problem, many businesses are attempting to address burnout with long term solutions to retain their top employees while also attracting new talent. These solutions include monitoring employee workloads they have so they are not overworked and providing these workers with increased downtime where possible."

And it goes on to talk about the onset of COVID and leading to new remote work models and further processing new challenges for HR managers and business leaders. And then, of course, talking about the trend toward the great resignation, with large numbers of employees quitting due to burnout and career dissatisfaction. "The exodus of employees from organizations has led to 52% of remaining employees reporting in 2021 that they had to take more work and responsibilities due to their colleagues resigning."

Furthermore, "30% said that they were struggling to complete their work." And I know from your brilliant TED talk the other day and the conversation during the celebration that followed it, that many of the individuals that you work with have been able to transform that burnout, to resiliency, and you have a model, would you like to talk about the model?

Beth Benatti Kennedy 

Sure. And thank you for sharing those statistics. I think it's really important that last piece about now that so many people leaving their job, we have these super talented people that are completely overwhelmed. So many people were at the sweet spot of this hybrid model or working from home, then all of a sudden, there's this complete level of overwhelm. And we're just starting to see the numbers. So, I think it's really important. And it's going to be really important for managers that are on this call, to have these conversations with their employees. So I just want to thank you for sharing those statistics.

Before I even introduce you to my model, I want to make sure everyone on this call is clear what we mean by resilient. You know, 28 years ago, when I started my coaching practice, I think it was a model of resilience that we went to work, we worked as hard as we can, we got promoted, we kept working, and it was okay, if everything else fell apart.

Well, thankfully, over the years, the definition of resiliency has been clarified. And my definition for resilience is: It is about moving forward through challenges, change transition, but it's by having a toolbox. And it's a toolbox that's different for everyone. And that's the piece I think organizations really have to embrace. And many are, and many are working on it. But it's not like a one stop fix-all issue. But what I have learned over the years of research, I've been studying stress for 30 years, my senior project was called Stress Management: a must for today's society. There are five key anchors, and I would love to say we could just focus on one but what I have learned over my practice is we need to focus on all five. So I'm going to give you just a little touch on each one and then we can kind of dive in deep Maureen, to questions.

So, the first one is what we all know...it's kind of a given. It's our well being. It's physical, emotional, spiritual—what are those things that fill your health bucket? Your recharge bucket? Make you feel like you're at your best. Think of it like investing in your bank, you know that dollar, that's when it turned to $2 or $3? What, you know, what are you doing daily for your well being. The second one, again, very common. We know it's important, but we have to emphasize it. It's self-awareness. But I dive a little bit deeper for self awareness. It's not just knowing your purpose. It's knowing your personality type. And that is so important right now because depending on how we are hardwired, we may do great work virtually, we may need to have little tweaks, but if we don't understand how we're hardwired, we're going to fall down the burnout escalator. So, those are the first two. And then we dig into the third one, which many resiliency experts do not include. And I think it's one of the most important, and that is your personal brand. How are you showing up? What are your strengths that differentiate you. And that's so important, because that's where the whole culture fit comes into play. So, I could be working at an organization where, you know, I have the right degree. But I just don't feel right. So, I continue accidentally down that burnout escalator. So I think, during, you know, this last two years, the work that I've been doing that I think has added the greatest value to my leaders, has been clarifying their brand and helping them figure out, okay, what are some things I need to tweak? So, I can still be super successful in the hybrid or virtual model. But also, what are some things about my brand that I need to collect yet, because it's a different world. So that's the third one. And the fourth one is connection. And probably everyone on this call has seen the research. It's incredible. I actually believe all of us should have a connection plan. And I have seen the difference. I have seen people be in stage three burnout, stage four burnout...start a connection plan, where they're reaching out to people that again, recharge them, they trust, and I see them get out...reverse the burnout. And then the final one is innovation, which, you know, may be a buzzword in organizations these days. But I define it in my coaching a little bit differently. It's not career innovation, it's personal innovation. So what are you doing, not only in your career to stay up to date or cutting edge, but in your personal life? You know, I think it's hysterical where I live, the big thing now is pickle-ball. And everyone's so excited about it. So we know, again, with with reversing burnout, we have to work with the brain.

So, all of these five anchors have strategies, that depending on who we are, what our life looks like, we can pull out different strategies to again, recharge those brain chemicals. It's all about our energy. So, I think that's kind of the most important piece...how we replenish our energy. So, we can show up, have fun at work, and be our best self.

Maureen Farmer

100%. And I know there's a person or two on this call, they're going to say, I don't have time for that. There's no time for that. I've got my quarterly business plan, Q3 is coming up. It's the end of September right now, we're going into Q4, I've got to make my plan. And I've heard this time and time again myself, in the people that I work with. And I would love for you to talk a little bit about that and talk about the value of taking time to work on that model. 

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Yes. So it's so interesting. It's such a great comment. And I'm just thinking of a CEO, and a founder that I work with. And I remember them saying that this stuff is great, but I don't have time. There's so many urgent things. And I listened, I was patient. And I finally said to both of them..."one minute, do you not even have one minute" and it was funny, I think it hit them both. I think the other "aha" for both of them was during this pandemic...they were working so hard. They started experiencing burnout. And they said what can I do? What can I do? And I said remember two months ago when I was talking about this model about introducing simple gratitude for resilience and both of them said yes. One of the things that I have learned and again those of you that have read all of these amazing books out there on habits. One that is super popular now is the atomic habits. One of the things that all these books have in common is they say keep it small. But figure out your "Why", and develop those cues. So, anyone on this call that is saying, "Yeah, I've been trying to exercise for six months now, or I've been trying to figure out time to network with colleagues", I would say what's so important is, make sure whatever you're trying to do, there's a why. Then also figure out what are the cues? How can you schedule it? What works for you? So for me, I've learned with exercising, I need to pay someone. I love being with other people. So I'm part of a group class. Half of my clients would say, "Oh, that's horrible...give me a machine..."

Maureen Farmer

I would be on of them Beth. Except for yoga class, I'd be one of them. I want to do it on my own, I want to swim, I want to walk and listen to my podcasts, I don't really want to be with a group.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Yeah. And you would probably do something very, very intentional that you don't even realize that you have cues that remind you. Like today, Wednesday, I'm going swimming at 10am. It's in my calendar. So one of the things I tell my clients to do, I call it the triangle. The triangle cue is I make that triangle. And you can do it  if you're on this call, I want this to be actionable. And what is that strategy that I need to improve? So whether it's my brand, my well being, my self awareness, connection, innovation, write that in the triangle. So, let's use the example that both of these high level leaders said to me was, you know, I need to figure out ways to just recharge, reinvigorate, reset. So, put that in that triangle and then dive in deeper. What does that mean? Okay, maybe I need to be exercising two times a week. Put that in that triangle, then what are those three pillars, each triangle, each one of that triangle is a cue. So one might be you know, what's going to make it work for me. One gentleman said, I'm going to join a gym. So join the gym. So that's on there. Maybe I'm going to do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5pm if I'm an evening exerciser, or 8am, put it on the second triangle, then that third corner, okay, how am I really going to make this happen? You know, I joined the gym, I have it on my calendar, I am going to put a post it note on my planner to remind myself, a bright orange post it note. So I think in today's world where all of us whether we're self employed, whether what I'm hearing about in organizations is there's a lot of overwhelm, how can we get these pieces that we know are going to bring us more energy and actually make it more productive? So, I do think we have to go back to keeping it small and focusing on one area of resilience at a time. Make that a habit. And now go to the next one.

I have this strategy all my clients do every Friday, it's called the Friday Five, you you take out your phone, and you pick...it's either first thing in the morning at lunch or at the end of your day. And you give yourself five minutes, and you put in capital letters reach emerge. And it buzzes at you, it pings at you and what it does...you say to yourself, What is my resiliency goal for next week? How am I going to make it happen? And schedule it right now. So every Friday it pops up. You think about okay, you know what I fell off the wagon. I didn't go swimming last week. This week, I'm gonna go swimming. It's working on our brand. And I need to spend more time on my LinkedIn.

You're probably all realizing the Friday Five is a cue. So, it's a cue to say I need to take time for me. And I think what's been really exciting about the type of coaching that I do is I I've seen people pause, take the time to recharge, and they become an even better leader, and more effective and more productive.

Maureen Farmer

Because you're more balanced. And you're taking care of your body and your mind and you talked a little bit before about the positive hormones...oxytocin and dopamine, serotonin are counterbalanced away from cortisol and adrenaline because we can become adrenaline junkies. I remember days back in corporate and I'm a little bit guilty of it these days, but I've been you know, just go go go go go because the thrill of closing the deal. That's real.

I love meeting new people, you know, at a conference you know, you're just go go go go go. I find what I'm doing now...we try to go to a concert once a month. We put these things on the calendar deliberately to make sure that we do connect. Sunday dinners with the kids. For my children, they're adults, they don't live at home anymore. But even if I am really really tired, I still do it. Because having people, having the children come over, having the conversation, and even if they're not there for very long, I think it's really, really important to your point...relating to connectivity. And if you can't get together with people in person, even as simple as a text message to a friend, you haven't spoken to for a while, I just received an email before a call this morning from a lovely friend of mine in Phoenix, who was wishing us well, because of the storm. I haven't heard from her in a while. And she was thinking of us and our family. And it just was such a lovely, unexpected surprise.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Yeah, it's so interesting what you said about the text message, because there's a recent Harvard Business Review article, I actually funny enough, I have it right here because I've been referring to it all month. It's about designing work that people love and what's very interesting is one of the strategies that Marcus Buckingham recommends for engagement and to keep people moving forward is very similar to my Friday Five. He calls it the weekly check in. And what's interesting is he has four questions that he recommends you ask your employees. But what was most fascinating to me was the research shows that the success of those four questions doesn't necessarily need to be face to face or by zoom. It's also successful if the employer texts your employee, and your employee texts you back. I think we all need to appreciate that depending on the situation. It's great that we have all these modes of communication.

Maureen Farmer

Oh, 100%. We didn't have that 20 years ago, 30 years ago. I agree with that. I really do. And I get such a thrill. I got a text last night from somebody who I really admire. And when I saw his text come in, I just lit up. And I was so excited. So excited to get that...we're scheduling a call for later on today. But that was unexpected as well. So, little things do add up.

What are the four questions, Beth?

Beth Benatti Kennedy

The first one is, number one, what did you love about last week? Number two is what did you loathe? So basically, what was your challenge? The third one is what are your priorities this coming week? And the fourth one is my favorite. How can I best help?

We've seen a lot of research during the pandemic...many people that are having issues with their mental health, leaving jobs, when they dive in deep trying to figure out what is going on. There's this common theme of "I am not feeling appreciated by my manager." And they don't understand what to do. Now, any leaders on this call...this is so powerful. I have had my leaders take these four questions, and tweak them. So, it feels comfortable for them. And they're all using them every week.

Maureen Farmer

Well, that's wonderful, we'll make sure that we have those written out in the show notes so people can take away. And I love the helping part. Because to your point earlier...it presents connectivity with others, how can I help? It's the people component where, you know, how can I help? How can I help others? How can I serve others today? And I think in parallel with having a gratitude practice. So thank you for sharing that.

Beth Benatti Kennedy 

You're welcome. I think it's great as leaders and managers to have a toolbox for ourselves to keep, you know, keep ourselves from not going down that burnout escalator. But then it's extra complicated, because now we need resources for our employees. And I think too, sometimes we think it has to be these incredible programs, right? And sometimes it's that simple...check in.

Maureen Farmer

100%. So I have a question for you. Because this comes up a lot in in some of the people in my life. They'll say, Well, Maureen, I can't treat all my employees differently. I have to treat them the same. And I disagree. I disagree because each person is different. Right? And you talked a little bit about that before...the self awareness component. So, if you have an employee who might be, you know, super extroverted, and just loves people, well, you might want to try, you know, something that's going to honor that style. Maybe you will ask them to do an introduction or to go meet somebody at the airport, you know who's coming in for a business night. Whereas you might, somebody who's more quiet and analytical type may be a little bit more reserved, might benefit from doing your research project,

I don't think you need to treat people the same. I think the way you need to treat everyone is with respect. It's like my two children. They're adults now, as I mentioned, they're very different from each other. So I don't treat them the same, but they still get the same degree of respect they deserve, but they have different needs and different ways of expression. So I think that's important to realize, as well, because I think a lot of managers think, you know, we have these rules and practices, and we can't be seen as favoring one over another. Right? I think by treating people differently from one another is not favoring, I think it's respectful.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

And I would agree, and it's interesting, because in this article, where they talk a lot about engagement, and how do we keep, you know, people at their best and just working hard, it actually connects to that concept, because it really is about understanding your employee and their strengths. And it's not saying you're only good at A, B, and C, we're only going to have you on that project. But it is about saying, we all want to be in flow, we all want to feel like we're using our strengths, we're using our challenges, so we can be at our best self. But if we only focus on treating everyone exactly the same, we're going to be missing out on really keeping people engaged.

That's why I think these days to be a leader...it's such an important role and to be a manager, because you really want to spend the time to get to know your people, and dive in deep on their strengths, their values, their interests... but also what challenges them. They might be more of an extrovert, but you know what they may need to do that research project, or they might be more of an introvert, and they need to do that important presentation to the CEO.

Maureen Farmer

To get out of their comfort zone, to challenge some of their fundamental beliefs about themselves. I think it's about honoring the whole person, don't you think? And I agree. I do you think that everyone needs to be challenged. There's no question because without challenge, there's really no growth is there?

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Right. And I've seen, and I'm curious what you've seen, I've seen some incredible leadership, over the last six months where the people I'm coaching, the managers are saying, I want you to figure out your work situation, so it fits you. So that might mean you know, depending on where they live, they might be going into the office two days a week, three days a week, or I have people that I'm coaching that are going in five days a week, because the manager, the leader is saying, figure out what works for you. That's so powerful.

Maureen Farmer

It sounds as though the companies you're working with are really high performing and high respect work environments. Very high respect. And that's really, really important. And in the absence of that, I think that we still owe it to ourselves to do what we can to help ourselves be resilient in the absence of that as well, because not every work environment is going to be able to accommodate or willing to accommodate.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

And as we all know, there are careers where, you know, you just have to be available face to face, right. But I do think Maureen, it's such a good point about resilience that I was just talking to someone about that. And she was saying this is so hard...getting back to being there. You know, I think she has to be back four days a week. And I again, I reminded her, you know what, we really all have to keep that adaptable, resilient, growth mindset right now, because you may, right now, it's a transition, but you may go back and you just might find, it's really great.

Maureen Farmer

And I think you just hit the nail on the head—transition, because whenever there is a transition, there's going to be some level of friction, don't you think? So I think we need to be patient with ourselves and the people reporting to us and even our leaders too, because they're going through transition as well. So, I think it's about being respectful. And you know, one of my favorite people, he said, never judge somebody on their worst day. And it's like, you know, give people a chance to adapt and get back into the flow.

Beth Benatti Kennedy 

Right. And I think for all of us to really embrace that...this is different right now. And we have to be open to some of the positives and some of the negatives and remind ourselves that that really is what resilience is. I'm just starting to travel again. And it's so crazy. I'm like, Alright, you have to pack all these things, you have to think about, you know, getting to the airport, but then I reminded myself, I get to do training, and I get to see people, I get to have a little side conversations with them. I think we keep having to go back to you know, yes, this is a transition. But there's some great stuff that did come out of it.

Maureen Farmer

Wonderful. And I think that I've read in many places that resilience now is one of the top leadership competencies that organizations are looking for, in their leaders at every level. So I think having a resiliency story is good.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

I agree. It's interesting. I've actually helped organizations come up with questions for resilience, as part of their selection process. And I  was telling someone this recently, I remember, I don't know, 10 years ago, whenever I first presented at a conference on resiliency. People were like, what? And then, you know, you have this pandemic, and now burnout, and now the world is paying attention.

Maureen Farmer

And when we think of occupational hazards, we don't think of something like burnout as being on the top of that list. We think of things like production, safety, and trips and falls and things like that. We don't think of burnout as being at the top of that list. But all the evidence points toward that., You've done a lot of research and in this area.

So Beth, it's been such a pleasure having the conversation today. I always like to ask people on this call. What is the one thing that has surprised you most in your career so far?

Beth Benatti Kennedy

I think what has surprised me most is how generous people are. Not necessarily people that I'm coaching. But how generous other professionals are that I've had an opportunity to meet through my journey. And I want to encourage everyone on this call, you know, if you do not have a mentor, if you don't have a sponsor, take the time, when you meet people that you like, and trust, take the time to reach out to them and schedule calls with them. And I cannot believe the value that has added just to my own happiness, but also to my career as well. I think connection is such a powerful competency. And to me, it's not a numbers game. To me partnering with colleagues and just the people in the organizations that I work, really getting to know people has added so much to just the fun that I'd have every day.

Maureen Farmer

100%. So Beth, how can people reach out to you?

Beth Benatti Kennedy

So you can contact me. And there's something I want to offer everyone on the call, which is kind of exciting. It's called the Resilience Benchmark. And I used to offer it only in my career recharge training programs. And I decided during the pandemic, that so many people could benefit. So, now it is offered on my website, which is www.bethkennedy.com. I'm also on Twitter at coachbkennedy. And my favorite avenue of connection is LinkedIn. So I am under Beth Kennedy, but also Benatti Leadership Development. The one thing I want to add about this resilience benchmark, it will take less than six minutes. And it will assess you in all five areas that I talked about with Maureen. Well being, self awareness, brand, connection, and innovation. And you will also receive a mini workbook. So you'll have boosters, strategies, and TEDx talks—all part of it. 

Maureen Farmer

Yes, Beth just finished and launched a wonderful TEDx talk on the resiliency model. And where would they find the TED Talk?

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Put right in your browser Beth Kennedy TEDx talk and it will pop up and it's Reset Career Resilience to Reverse Burnouts.

Maureen Farmer

Wonderful. It's about 15 minutes long. It's well worth taking the time to watch it. And I do have one last question before we sign off and that is...we're putting together a list of restaurants for our listeners and readers. And we would love for you to give us the name of one or two restaurants that you love...

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Oh my gosh, what a great question. In the Boston area—those of you that are from Boston—my favorite Thai restaurant is called Siam Delight. In the north end of Boston, the Italian section, one of my favorite Italian restaurants is called Limoncello.

Maureen Farmer

Lovely! After the drink! Well, Beth, it's been an absolute pleasure having you on the podcast today. And I hope we get to do it again soon.

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Thank you, Maureen. The opportunity and connection that happened from meeting you many, many years ago at a conference. We met in Madrid. Again, grateful for our relationship and just all that learning that comes out of it. 

Maureen Farmer

Yes, absolutely. Love collaboration. Okay, wonderful. Well, Beth, I will be seeing you again soon (hopefully)!

Beth Benatti Kennedy

Yes, thank you!